Come on a journey of inspiration & adventure while renovate & restore a beautiful Victorian home 'St Elmo' in the picturesque Hunter Valley, Australia & laugh at a few of our family adventures along the way.

Monday, September 26, 2011

I need some mummy advice...STAT!!!

As most of you know, but for those who don't, I have 4 children...3 girls & 1 boy.
My little boy will turn 9 yrs old in October  I do believe in many ways he is wise beyond his years.
He made a comment to me last night about something I was already troubled about & it has made me sad that he also notices my problem.
He said " Mum, you need to learn how to have FUN !"

Now there is a story behind this issue.
My little man has been a difficult child to manage from birth & I find I am always on guard, just waiting for what is to come next.
He can be downright, rude, cheeky, obnoxious, aggressive just an all round difficult person to deal with & when you get mad with him, he can be completely enraged & so insulted that he will turn the whole situation around & make you feel as though you have committed a crime against him.He will be completely taken over by anger & say awful things to you, just because you said  the word NO, but 5 minutes later he can be hugging you & calling you "the best mum in the world."

Earlier this year he was officially diagnosed with ADHD ( attention deficit hyperactive disorder). Now I know that a lot of people believe that this is an over used excuse for poor parenting, but I am here to tell you other wise. There is a huge difference between a kid being naughty & a kid with ADHD. When my little boy came along, I went from being that mum with those beautiful girls that always brought me compliments for their good behaviour & lovely manners to being "THAT MUM, with THAT KID". Life got to the point where if I had to go some where & I had no choice but take my son, I would have to assess what mood he was in first & 90% of the time I just didn't go & the job didn't get done.I just couldn't bare to be humiliated, again. I tend to live most of the time as a single parent due to the fact that my dream guy is generally at work & this make the situation  all the more challenging
There is an upside to this story.
 Whilst being assessed by the clinical psychologist he recommended a book for us to read

This book is my new bible. When I first began to read it I cried, it was like the author had been spying on us & even written down our conversations, word for word. After reading this, I knew with out a doubt, that he really did have ADHD

 My husband & I where very hesitant to go down the path of sedating him with drugs for the rest of his life, so we have opted to try out alternatives first & with great success.

We have been seeing at Naturopath & bio chemist for the past 4 months & I have to say that the transformation is astounding
He is following a wheat free, dairy free diet,  taking homeopathic drops & Chinese herbs specifically designed for him & its like we have a new boy. Don't get me wrong, we have ups & downs, but now its just like regular naughty stuff with regular kid reactions.
 His teacher now says he is a pleasure to have in the classroom..YAY!!

Last week we began working with a massage therapist using Kinesiology. He has only had an assessment so far & we are waiting on her report to see what direction we need to take in this department ,but our particular therapist has had some wonderful successes in this area, so here's hoping.
I don't know if anyone of you has a child with this disorder, but I do hope our story can help some one.

(I am capable of being fun, LOL!)

So back to my original problem, can anyone help me learn how to have fun with my now charming, happy & very quick witted little boy?

I do lots of activities to ensure he is entertained & stimulated, I have just lost my way when it comes to actually connect & laugh & play with him, its like I have built a bit of a wall to protect myself & I don't know how to break it down...AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!

I'm sure all of you wise owls with have some very insightful & creative suggestions :0)

Trish xx

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